The Spirituality of the Married Life

This is the commentary that God’s Word Today printed on Good Friday. I really wanted to share this with everyone, because this was such an important part of my realization of what marriage truly is. A true understanding of “love is a choice” is something that every married person must understand in order to have a truly happy marriage. If we try to love our spouses on emotion alone, we will be very empty very quickly. Enjoy.


1 Corinthians 13:13

“So faith, hope, love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

Some commentators have suggested that chapter 13 of First Corinthians is a digression in Paul’s argument. It is, in fact, its center. This hymn to love is the foundation of Paul’s’ major theme: the unity of the community. If the church is the Body of Christ, love is its blood, its breath, its life.

It should be clear that love is not a feeling for Paul. It is a choice to live in a particular way. It is a choice to be patient, kind, not envious, not rude – in short to be all the qualities which Paul describes (13:4-7). Why are such choices necessary? It is only when we make them, when we choose to place the needs of others above our own, that we can live in union with each other. When we live centered only on ourselves, we cannot be one.

This passage reveals the inevitable logic of Paul’s vision. Unless we love, there will be divisions among us. If there are divisions, we cannot be Christ’s body. If we are not Christ’s body, we have no union with him and no part in his coming triumph over evil. Separated from Christ, there is no good news in which we can share. This is why we are nothing without love.

Although this passage is often used at marriage celebrations to express the passionate attraction between bride and groom, its import extends far beyond romantic love. True love is the decision to give first priority to what will bind us together and thereby build the kingdom of God. The love of which Paul speaks is not about being swept off our feet but rather laying down our lives.