Monday, April 09, 2007

The Lord is truly risen!

Happy Easter to all! I hope that the joy of our Lord's Resurrection has graced all of your lives.

So in case anyone is still reading this, you have probably noticed that I haven't posted in about 2 months. The first part of this is that I gave up the internet for Lent. The second part is that during Lent I realized that I love posting, and I love it so much that I want to put enough time into it to make it worhtwhile to read. Because of this though I also realized that time could be better spent on prayer, family, work, etc. So, this will be my last post for an indefinite amount of time. I hope all all of you who have visited this site have found it worthwhile. Please keep my family in your prayers.

May the Lord bless you and keep you.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Teens say the darndest things.

Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. Here are last year's winners.....

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p. m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p. m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for awhile.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
Ah the pains of health insurance.

I know I have griped about the evils of health insurance before, but last night we noticed something new, and more frustrating than anything else we have seen. We found out that our insurance will pay for my wife to have an abortion but will not pay for her to have a mammogram. How's that for justice?

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

"I have been blessed by God. And if I'm blessed, there is one reason and one reason only, and that is to help others."

Take a guess as to who the above quote is from.

While you are at it, guess who painted the picture below.

Unless you guessed a 12 year old girl from Illinois, you would be wrong. Meet Akiane. She did both. Akiane is a 12 year old who began drawing when she was 4, and painting at 6. She claims that her paintings are visions from God that she then puts onto canvas. Her story is a bit much for me to even try to put into words. The best thing I can do for you is tell you to watch her CNN interview, and then explore her website. She is remarkable.
How many times do you blink in a minute and four seconds?

One of the most anticipated events in all of comedy is the State of the Union address. It is amazing the amount of great material they can get out of that. My favorite bit by David Letterman from after the speech was the Cheaney/Pelosi blink count. Watch it. It's hilarious.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

What a culture we live in.

The movie Spanglish provides some beautiful insights into the hideousness of certain aspects of our beloved American culture. The movie is about a wealthy American family and their Mexican housekeeper and was on the Bishop's Top Ten list for 2004. Most poignantly it shows a stark contrast between what Mexico and America expect from women. The film did show one aspect of American culture that was not so unappealling. Our modern American culture allows husbands and fathers to be sensitive and loving rather than just "macho." Now I don't want to hear any comments about what a pansy I am! I can watch sports and drink a beer like nobody's business, but I still love my wife and son all right!

And of course you can't beat the greatest line of the movie, "We understand guilt. We're Catholic!"
Christian values in the movies.

Here is an interview with Barbara Nicolosi about Christian values in the movies, about which she is one of the foremost authorities. The whole article is great, from the perspective of a parent there is one thing about her father that particularly resonated with me:

"My father’s theory was that if you exposed children to beautiful things, they would lose their taste for barbarism."

What a beautiful theory. I think I agree with this pretty strongly. Too often I think we worry about what we shouldn't watch rather than focus on what we should watch. The same is true for adults also. I know the more I watch good movies and listen to good music, the less taste I have for the mediocre.
Free memory card!

Until January 27, you can get a $27 512 SD memory card with a $27 rebate at

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

It's about time!

The creator of the "Girls Gone Wild" videos was recently fined $500,000 and sentenced to 200 hours community service for exploitation of minors. It's a shame that it is not more serious than that, but at least it's something.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Want to be on Jeopardy?

Jeopardy is running an online test to look for contestants on January 23-25. Anyone can register to see if they have what it takes to be the next Ken Jennings.