The Spirituality of the Married Life

I am reading My Life with the Saints by Fr. James Martin, S.J. It is a great book about his devotion to the saints, and as I read about Thérèse, I could feel the desire to be a saint, to which we are all called, rise within me. This feeling got even stronger as I read the next section on Thomas Merton.

The next day someone told me that Thérèse loved the country, so whenever she traveled through it she would put her head down, so that she would not see it and could offer that sacrifice. How often do I even think of making sacrifices like that? All of the examples I was reading made me start to think of all the things I could be doing as sacrifices. I don’t need cokes, TV, music, or even things like warm water for that matter. There are so many small non-necessities that I enjoy and could give up for more than just Lent.

As I was reading about Thomas Merton though, I realized something. The book mentioned how he “lived simply,” and I remembered St. Francis sleeping on a rock. The thought that popped into my mind was, “It would be much easier to be a saint if I wasn’t married.” I would be able to do crazy saint-like things like sleep on the floor and spend hours in contemplation. But as soon as I said that, it finally hit me, “But that isn’t my vocation!”

I have been called to marriage by God! He wants me to live this life and be holy doing it! I am not honoring his plan for me by dreaming about how to be holy in another life. Sure I could start to give up things, but that won’t make me holier. Instead if I tried to live that life, I would actually be sinning. My holiness is bound with self-giving to my wife and family. If I truly want to be a saint, I must dedicate myself to giving to her; doing more, not doing without. I am called to be a saint by taking care of my wife and children and making their lives better. It is amazing how simple it is to miss God in daily life. Our holiness does not come in doing grand things, but in simply doing our duty as well as we can and with his glory as the goal.

God lets me get to heaven by loving a beautiful woman? Indeed, what a God we have!